It’s something that is often spoken about with shame due to repression, guilt and insecurity. People often talk about fetish, kink and the things we enjoy in the bedroom as if it’s some sort of crutch, or worse, something that makes one a weirdo or pervert.
This couldn’t be further from truth.
Sex is the most natural thing in the world. Sweating it out, completely naked and vulnerable, and connecting with another human being is one of the most gratifying and stimulating experiences that you can ever take part in. Healthy sex revitalizes you inside and out, and also grows and prospers the romantic relationships that you take part in.
Because of this, exploring your desires should also be considered one of the healthiest things that you can do. You will be able to figure out who you are and what you enjoy in bed, so that sex becomes a form of exploration that you enjoy with someone else, rather than just an activity you take part in when you get that horny itch.
To learn about your own sexuality, consider the following suggestions and read more
to figure out what you really enjoy and desire in your sex life. #1: Start Playing With Blindfolds and Restraints
There’s something sexy about the great unknown and giving up control.
One of the best ways to go about this is by including blindfolds and restraints. Simply taking away one of your senses allows your imagination to run wild, and leaves you at the mercy and trust of your partner.
By giving up this control, it helps to stimulate the sensitivity of your other senses, and makes every bit of mystery on this dance so much hotter. You can stock up on some blindfolds, or simply grab a bandana or cloth to shield your vision. Feeling the touch of someone’s skin on yours becomes so much more scintillating since you don’t have the benefit of seeing it coming.
The sensation of not immediately knowing what body part your partner has placed in your mouth provides a jolt of curiosity, followed by a lightning bolt of realization and the hottest elevated sense of erotic energy that you could imagine. This becomes a part of the play, and will revolutionize your sex life if you like to tease or be teased.
Using this form of play grows the anticipation and allows your sexual energy to build, so that the fulfillment when you cum offers the most blissful payoff ever. #2: A Little Spank Goes a Long Way
There’s something naughty and forbidden about the spanking.
Perhaps it harkens back to our animal instincts, which have evolved with us long before written history or even language. Maybe it’s the realization that a spanking is a punishment, and there’s something strangely gratifying about giving yourself to the mercy your partner and letting them administer playful discipline.
Maybe it’s the realization that someone is bending you over and spanking your naked rump, freeing you of the stiff, rigid “proper” way to do things that we’re prisoner to in our everyday personal and professional lives.
Regardless of why you enjoy a good spank, allow yourself to run wild with it.
Play around with different positions -- maybe you want to bend over a table, over your partner’s knee, or bend over and touch your toes or the ground. You can also alternate between a good old fashioned spank on the bottom with the hand, and the use of some spanking tools.
You can buy some whips, or use a belt, brush, paddle, or whatever else tickles your fancy. Keep it fun and communicate when it’s too hard and too soft.
This can build trust and communication in your relationship, as you tend to each other’s desires and respect each other’s boundaries. #3: Learn to Play With Healthy Dominance, Submission and Aggression
Sex is the most carnal act we engage in, so ideas of proper societal protocol don’t necessary lead to a sexy experience.
In virtual every hot bedroom, dominance, submission and aggression are at play. Using this form of kink lets you play different roles and explore in ways that bring back the freedom and creativity we enjoyed in childhood -- only in a very adult-oriented, gratifying manner.
When you’re with a partner that has a submissive streak, listen to cues, but take the lead. Move their bodies into positions and play with a variety of grips, and even a little choke if that’s what tickles their fancy. Positions of dominance and submission, like getting on your knees, or having your arms pinned behind your back can awaken the erotic beast within us all.
Build healthy trust outside of the bedroom so that you feel free to explore dominance, submission and aggression inside of it. If you fail to communicate, apologize, and treat each other with kindness in your relationship, resentment will find its way into your sex, and will hinder your ability to enjoy these gratifying aspects of your sexuality.
Conversely, when your relationship is open, vulnerable and awesome out of the bedroom, nothing is off limits when it comes time to explore your naughty side to the fullest.
The next time you’re ready to strip down to your birthday suit and create the hottest passion you’ve ever felt, you’ll have a roadmap to use.
It’s important to realize that these are suggestions for play, not hard and fast rules that need to add unnecessary pressure to the dance. If you like it -- great, do it and keep doing it. The second something seems uncomfortable or like a turnoff, there’s no pressure to do it.
You should challenge your sexual boundaries, but should also know yourself to the point that you’re able to really maximize on what you are experiencing. Once you give yourself the freedom to explore, every touch, stroke, kiss, bite and spank will be electric. You’ll be coming from a place of sexual empowerment and understanding, rather than just blindly fiddling around.
So no matter your sexual tastes, throw a few of these in the mix to see how you like them!